massive ego trip

Somewhere along the line, I forgot how to draw.

2009-06-07T00:09:10Z

I don't know what happened to the last two years. After flicking through my back dated LJ entries, I feel shameful of the time and ideas I've let slip away. The entries (some now private) started at teenage angst, exploded into the first year of uni and then came to a slow death as I got to where I am now.

As the title suggests, I don't remember being able to draw as well as I did. For the last year (and a lot of the year before that) I didn't do much art. Something got forgotten and then mislaid, leaving me without the tools I once had. My work as a programmer/scripter has taken over. That could be good in ways but, as I look back, I created far better things with pen and paper in far less time than with code.

This journal is over, and has been for a long time. I just want to make it clear. The internet has a habit of remembering things, and I see the best way is to start a fresh.

If you want to keep up to date with me your best bet is to start at my site (http://peterdodds.co.uk). Other wise just leave a comment here, I'll still be checking it occasionally.

Finally, something I wrote a while back:

Ba(Hons) Procrastination

what I thought was possible, was impossible.
what I thought was easy, was hard.

I chose the wrong project(s).

with simplicity, the chance of experimentation.
with complexity, the chance of failure.

next project(s) will be better.

not dead

2008-06-21T17:29:01Z

Hello Livejournal land.

So I've finished almost. The real world awaits!

I just cut together a video about my major project, and put it up in silly HD resolution on vimeo (which I have decided is better than youtube), also its embedded below...

Anyway I'm busy on semi-secret stuff that will be sorted on Monday.

Ps. watch it with sound, it's way more interesting with sound.

I both hate you and love you for all the same reasons.

2008-04-10T14:57:03Z

Are you weak willed? Do you lose hours/days/years to the internets?
Try LeechBlock

m0tive @ 2008-04-04T19:23:00

2008-04-04T18:24:46Z

I'm worried about this week, the weeks after that, the future.

Ba(Hons) Procrastination

2008-03-10T19:04:10Z

what I thought was possible, was impossible.
what I thought was easy, was hard.

I chose the wrong project(s).

with simplicity, the chance of experimentation.
with complexity, the chance of failure.

next project(s) will be better.

where's my bandwidth gone?

2008-02-28T23:51:12Z

I installed 4oD today, and found there was a problem with it. It's malware.

On closing it doesn't (after exiting in the system tray icon). It carries on running KService.exe, and carries on eating your bandwidth. If you have a crappy internet connection like me, this is bad. (read some more here)

Anyway I found an app that forces 4oD (and the BBC iPlayer download service) to exit properly : here

art tra tar rat

2008-02-22T00:55:49Z

another meaningless painting of an imaginary girl.
all my work will be lost in ten years.
goodnight.

that skirts way too short... it concerns me

2008-02-08T23:05:48Z

I made fay a painting, it was a good deal. She likes pritty pictures, I like painting pictures. In the process of making it I did several other scribbles that I might make into final things.

the art lives on!

Tesp Doedd needs an R

2008-01-15T22:29:18Z

I'm working away. Learning to network a game, and other such shenanigans.

Of interest: I did a guest strip for my friend Ali's comic, Afterstrife
I think it's good. Whilest drawing it reminded me that i dont do nearly enough art stuff (too much coding). I like doing art for people, means I finish it!

Laterzz.

Edit: I forgot to say happy birthday dave. happy birthday dave.

My brain is like egg on toast

2007-12-30T19:05:35Z

I just watched The Science of Sleep by Michel Gondry. It is weird to say the least. I'm not sure if it was good. It wasnt bad... I'm just still somewhat confused.

I recommend watching it.

Hope yall are having good holidays. I ment to spend it drawing and getting back to my art but I have done nothing!

Later.

m0tive @ 2007-12-01T00:44:00

2007-12-01T00:56:23Z

here's something cool

m0tive @ 2007-11-14T02:09:00

2007-11-14T02:14:20Z

My sleep patterns are all out of wack again.
I've had an entirely unproductive day.

humph.

So to cheer myself up I did a quick painting :

Ps. Orphans and Vandals are great!

2sketchcrawls and more!

2007-11-12T12:03:33Z

So since I got a scanner I have been scanning. Almost an entire sketchbook. There are alot of the pictures, so have a blast through:

The Game is dead. Long live the Game

2007-11-11T00:43:41Z

I have started that blog: realtime Art
The first entry has been kind of blasted out... and needs another read through, but meh.

go read. I will do more updates to catch up with where I am with the game.

m0tive @ 2007-11-08T23:14:00

2007-11-08T23:20:55Z

The first screen of RealRisk (working title). Not much to say other than this is only a prototype. In the shot you can see nodes (buildings) and attackers (units). I don't want to talk about the details too much right now.

In a slight tangent: I'm considering starting up a new blog to follow exclusively follow the progress of the game, and future projects. I might look at using Blogspot. From what I've seen, it looks like you can make quite a slick looking site using it.

Anyway, this blog would continue, but get back to it's arty-farty roots.

Ps. It all looks way better in realtime.

I'm happy now.

2007-11-05T17:02:36Z

yay I have a scanner! That's me sorted for some time, there will be some more updates sooon.
In the mean time, the game is going ok. I'm making a prototype at the moment. If I implement my SDL screen cap routine, i'll post up some sexy images!

laterz

Ps. That's an old picture I did, the first thing I found on the floor. It was trying to be Megan, of Al's comic, but I'll let you be the judge of that...

Develop a punk economy

2007-10-29T01:09:19Z

Another post. Im on fire.

So im reading this: Realtime Art Manifesto
Reinforcing my views, but making me evaluate my direction.

The idea of the Plot being an impossible venture in a pure Realtime piece is unnerving, but true. Al story elements in games are built using other mediums, mostly film. So the aim must become to create the environment for a player to have a story.

And then why make a game? Why not a structure to explore and understand.
The point of the game is to occupy the user long enough to give them something, and in the case of WoW take something.

Things I had began to think, but set in place by reading it.

I got a lot of work to do. RRisk is going to be very weird, but fun.

To Quote:
Make short and intense games:
think haiku, not epic.
Think poetry, not prose.

not alone.

2007-10-28T23:04:38Z

So anyone who has an interest in games, and how to make them better?
Ok, go watch this lecture from FreePlay 07
The lecture is by Jonathan Blow, the designer of a game called Braid, which looks good, but more importantly he seems to be posing some ideas about how to approach game design.

The points you should really watch are most of the introduction, and then if you get bored of him showing Braid and a few other prototypes skip forward to 00:50:00 for some Why (specifically the part about unethical games).

So anyway, after you watch that, go watch another talk from FreePlay, Independent's Day which starts by destroying the idea that all innovation is good.

m0tive @ 2007-10-27T23:40:00

2007-10-27T23:26:45Z

My favorite site on the internet (indygamer.blogspot.com) is in trouble! I haven't the cash or planning to save it. Bummer.

Anyway. I'm back, I'm busy, and I'm still churning round ideas in my head. Work has started on my first game, currently called RealRisk. I'm doing low level boring* things; making a menu system, rendering text, managing input. Things aren't going quite as planned, I would like to building level loading components right now. First I lost 5 days work while formatting my computer**, then when changing from GLUT to SDL I found I had to recreate lots of really useful stuff GLUT did very well.

Less of that tedium. SDL is way better in the long run anyway...

I've been thinking about how to make games. They way in which the game play is built rather than the game engine. I have decided to scale down my ideas, and create a quick arcade-style game. I would love to create a vast game, with characters, emotive story, and you know... explosions, but no. There will be explosions***. My first venture into game design needs all the cards stacked on it's side. If I can make something people will actually enjoy playing I'll have succeeded.

Now I'm thinking to myself, that last thing seems like such a low bar to set myself. I would like to revolutionise the concept of 'games' and take the medium into a whole new dimension. But I would fail, and it would suck. That's later anyway ;)

Games are harder to make than I think. I have a black screen with blue menus and really crappy font. I'm along way from changing the world.

Final note, I might get a scanner if I'm very lucky. So more posts and more art.

* I don't think it's boring
** I'm an idiot, I know
*** maybe

m0tive @ 2007-09-17T17:47:00

2007-09-17T16:52:31Z

how old am i

2007-09-17T14:33:40Z

So this summer was short, and taken hostage by work.
Programming for Natural Motion 8 weeks of the holiday was quite an experience.
I don't feel I got my normal summer relaxation. At points it felt like the worst of the 2nd term of the 2nd year.

After talking to people at work (rob, and then luke) I have plans for the coming year.
Time management is the key. Though I have always known that, just never practiced it.

There are conflicting feelings about where I am going.
Do I want to make things to entertain, amuse and distract? Or make something with meaning that could make people think?
One seems trivial, but the other, just ego stroking.
Entertainer or Artist. I haven't long to decide.

I think i've been away from the hub too long. Ideas rattle round my head, with noone to bounce them off. Unchecked, uncertain.

I have scrawled images drawn on paper to scan.

One more week.

ask the internet.

2007-08-27T17:49:21Z

Hey, i need a new book to read!
I just finished the His Dark Materials service by Philip Pullman (I liked them a lot), but now I need a new book to read. I'm thinking something clever, but not soul destroying depressing. Still feel like a pretty light reader, but I'm holding out on buying the final Harry Potter. I'm sure there is something better out there to read!

Anyway, suggestions welcome. I'm bored and trying to avoid using the computer.

tetris

2007-08-19T21:23:40Z

this is possibly the best rap ever

from songstowearpantsto.com

The Future Is Now or How I Became The Artist

2007-08-13T23:13:41Z

I played The Marriage. I suggest you do. It's a painting.
I've been researching and finding ideas.
Finally I see a combination of my arts. A path to follow.

Now. The game; smart, challenging, evocative, addictive. I've got work to do.

today i learned to hate.

2007-08-03T00:06:35Z

Angry programmer rant:
so after spending a week working with the XSI SDK writing plugins, i have started working on a 3ds max version... I have descovered that 3ds max was written by monkeys, retarded monkeys.

Anyway, recently as a minor hobby i have been playing lots of free indie games off the internet. Today i downloaded Façade. Quite an impressive system (you type - they understand), nowhere near as seamless as the imply on they're trailer. Basically, sitting through an extreamly awkward conversation, and noone can quite understand you. I think my English is too messenger to always register (it didn't understand "hehe")... i need to speak in proper statements and question.